Vulture Feast
Khilawan ran as if hundreds of ghosts were chasing him. It was hot outside but the fire inside his heart was more intense. The wind had stopped as if it was expressing sorrow over his plight... but how could he forget that the same wind had created this distress for him. It was dark now, but plumes of black smoke which came out of the fire were still flashing in his eyes... which came as a curse for him.
There was darkness all around him, but he felt that it was not dark, there were dark clouds emerged from the same fire and were suffocating him... which were making him difficult to breathe.
He was terrified and ran away. He could not hear or see anything… nor was there any courage in his mind. He was not aware of when he had come out from the outskirts of the village and reached the railway line passing from outside and started panting after falling on the boundary of a field adjacent to it. That cold soil seemed to be his place of refuge, from where he no longer wanted to get up. His mouth was so dry that he was feeling thorns were pricking inside his throat and eyes were lifeless.
The past moments kept flashing in his eyes and he kept lying inverted on the edge breathlessly. Then he turned over and started staring at the sky which was turning black from blue as if he was complaining. Who was there now… Not even those clouds of smoke, they had merged into the atmosphere after playing their role. Then who? Perhaps God... the poor are supported by God but he did not have that either.
Who was he… a farmer of smallholding! The poor, for whom there is a struggle in every moment. Whose hard work has no guarantee that it will pay off… and on top of that, he has been bestowed a big name like ‘Annadata’. These are the annadatas who do back-breaking work in small-scale pieces of land, do metayage or do labour in the big farmer's fields. They borrow from banks, money lenders, etc. and sow crops with the dream of a better future but sometimes hailstorms, sometimes flood-drought, sometimes rain-fire shatter their dreams so badly that they resort to hanging themselves finally.
Khilawan was not different from them... His mud house had four mouths to feed at that time. The fifth was still in Dulari's womb... It was the last month of her pregnancy and all of a sudden, his hopes collapsed like a sandcastle.
Life was going on by borrowing from here and there... Despite the weakness, Dulari had delivered two children but during the third pregnancy, her condition deteriorated further and under compulsion, she had to run to the doctor's door. After saving time from farming, he used to pull a rickshaw in the neighbouring city, which used to generate some income— but the wheat crop in the field was his hope, which would not only repay his debts and make arrangements till the next crop but also make ensure that Dulari has a safe delivery.
But his bad luck… The field was ready to be harvested, caught evil eye. Few burning dry leaves flew and the field caught fire.
When he came to know, it wreaked havoc on him. He ran towards the field and saw it burst into flames... The rising plume of smoke could be seen all over the sky. People nearby made their full efforts to extinguish the fire in order to save their fields, but even after that, the entire field was destroyed. The wind was strong which caused the fire to spread rapidly and nothing was left.
Seeing that he was stoned... Both the children were shaking him but he could not respond.
Then, when he regained consciousness, he started mourning.
What happens when hopes shatter— who could have known better than him. Somehow people managed to take him home by providing support, then there was new trouble waiting for him. Dulari could not tolerate the shock and labour pain started.
In such a situation, it was necessary to take her to the hospital, but the condition of Khilawan was strange... Both the children were staring at him and he was looking at excruciating Dulari with dry eyes.
Their expectations started overshadowing him.
And he was scared and ran away. Both the children left clamouring 'Bappa-Bappa'.
He wanted to run away far but it was the only his body that could escape. The soul was lying there where there were two sons sitting there hoping for food from him and her wife was in labour pain.
He was looking at the sky and wondering with agitation if there is any God there? Who is really watching him... If so then why is he just watching? Why could he not stop that wind from blowing fast? Why could he not stop those burning leaves from flying? No-no ... there is no God... all is misconception... just like ghosts. Or even if he exists, it's definitely somewhere in the sky, where only rich people are considered. The poor are chased away from the door.
His heart kept on vexing for Dulari, but he could not find any capability in himself for her. Even if he manages to take her to hospital, multiple expenses would be incurred and only twenty rupees were left in his pocket. Who would he stretch his hand to? And who will even help— when there was no hope of return.
nate a mastermind sent to Kashmir
Several hours passed and his weariness broke with a voice.
He opened his dried eyes— looked at the direction of the voice. It was the horn of the train... A light beam was coming towards him. The tracks were only at a short distance from him— he could feel the vibrations in them.
Suddenly one thought flashed through his mind.
If he lies on the track, how long will he have to suffer death? Maybe a second and then liberation! He was a farmer... He had seen two bodies of the farmers like him hanging from the tree in the village itself. They keep dying throughout the country. If one more dies, what difference will it make to the people of this country.
Why do people hang themselves… This is a very difficult death. When the noose tightens on the throat and breathing stops, how much agony happens. It causes a long-suffering... While those who have a rail track can opt for the less torturing death. The railway line is not just about defecation— it can also be a substitute of a tree for a helpless and destroyed annadata.
His heart started beating fast and throbbing started in the temples. The noisy light beam was coming towards him fast and he was thinking that this is the chance... this is the chance!
He got up.
His fagged body regained stamina— to die. He stood up and stepped towards the track with a firm determination.
Like the angel of death, the train was coming near every moment.
Suddenly there was a loud sound and he stopped.
He could not understand what happened right away… Then light beam seemed to leave the track and with a loud noise, it first crooked and wiggled and then got down on the side of the track in a pit almost a hundred meters before... and bouncing off the ground, perhaps tearing the land and, sliding for a while, stopped a little before Khilawan.
But behind it, the entire train had left the tracks and the rear compartments went on climbing each other, after colliding. In a few moments, there was such a terrible noise as if the doom had come and Khilawan was petrified.
At first, there was only the noise of the coaches collided and the noise of the passengers inside was suppressed, but once the metallic noise stopped, the human screaming started, which did not seem to stop.
Khilawan was stunned and was looking at that sight confoundedly. His ears were ringing badly. The moonlight of the full moon was enough to show him that the gruesome accident it looked like... may have killed all of those in the front compartments, passengers in the middle compartments must have been half-dead and gravely injured and those who were in the back compartments might be in the state of speaking and were screaming.
All the previous things skipped of his mind and he moved there.
It took a few minutes for him to reach there... It was a very devastating sight. The diesel engine and the three front compartments collided with it were completely crushed. The back compartments were also strewn, clashing with each other. Along with the moonlight, there were lights in the back compartments and mobile lights of some injured people who were slightly injured luckily.
The next compartments were quiet... Either people were dead or unconscious. There were some movements in the following coaches. Many coaches were buried in the way that the exit was blocked and the insiders were not in such a condition that they could try to get on their own or where people were there in this condition and were trapped, then they were screaming and crying.
However, some people started trying to get out of the middle coaches and the back coaches.
Obviously, everyone needed help and he alone was not capable of anything. He kept moving with a trembling heart and a shuddering sight.
The noise of the accident was so tremendous that the people of the villages around were running towards it making noise and after reaching the spot became part of the same frame in a blink of a moment.
Khilawan was not focused on them— he was looking at people struggling with death.
Then his eyes fell on a person who had somehow come out of the compartment by sliding and now was looking at his hand stained with blood after moving his hand holding a mobile over his head. Khilawan stopped by him and started looking at him. Perhaps he came out of the AC coach— he was dressed like an elite. There were also two gold rings in his fingers and a gold chain around the neck, which Khilawan was eyeing too. There were multiple bloodstains all over his white clothes.
The man also realized the presence of Khilawan and looked at him. The mobile slipped from his hand.
“Help— help!" He said in a very weak voice, extending his hand towards Khilawan.
But Khilawan stood insentient in his place. The ring and chain were stuck in his mind. If he was a rich man then there would be money in his wallet. Then he was shocked to look around. What was he thinking… Maybe that poor person’s scalp was severely lacerated and he needed help.
But the help was also needed for the two starving stomachs whom he had left behind. There was also Dulari who was approaching death in the name of childbearing. Who should be important for him— who should he give priority to? He was trapped in a dilemma.
Looking at him with hopeful eyes, the person fainted there.
It was possible for Khilawan to tie his wound tightly with a cloth with the help of his mobile light so the bleeding could stop and he could stay alive till some medical help arrived but the biggest obstacle in this work were the rings in the person’s fingers, the chains in his neck, and possibility of money in his wallet that could avoid death of him and his family. Should he prefer this one death to the death of six people?
Stranded in the fierce dilemma he again looked around with craven eyes.
Many new people had reached there who were living nearby. There were also those who were 'humans' and also those who were 'vultures' and had come to taste the feast that had become readily available. Humans were busy helping people, and the vultures were silently turning off the lights in the compartments or mobiles so that the light would not obstruct their evil act. Yes, light is an enemy of the darkness of sin... It should not be there. Some of them may have been vultures by nature and some would have been those whom their compulsions and needs made vultures.
Experiencing a sharp chill Khilawan felt as if large wings had grown on his back and the mouth had become like a beak. The one who was in front of him was not a dying person needing help but an opportunity.
The vulture feast had begun— he too overturned the mobile from the hand of that person so that the light could not spread and he could absorb the sinful darkness. Now he could take off the rings, he could take off the chain, he could take out the wallet.
He had a chance when he could become a
deity, but he thought it better to become a very ordinary person… The starving
stomachs and needs associated with him eventually overshadowed his humanity.
(A story from my book Vulture feast)
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