Surkhaab

 

It was pleasant weather outside… The sky was dark cloudy. It was raining heavily brisk wind. She could not understand it till date that why she was named Surkhab (Himalayan Monal). She was not that beautiful. Sometimes her name used to seem irrelevant to her.

She was silently watching the rain from the window. She was looking at the tree standing alone across the road, swaying with the wind— and was trying to understand whether it was whirling in happiness or struggling with those strong winds to save its existence.

Splashes of water were coming with air on her but she did not care.

She was thinking about Abhijeet... He was a strange character— completely a rebel! He did not care about anything. He was not in favour of accepting any old principles but was a proponent of making new rules according to the age. His words used to inspire her, make her spiritualise but also frightened her.

Once he used to live in the neighbourhood— He was in the same school till the eighth standard, and was two years older than her. Then as the school changed, his residence also changed. Surkhab had a special place for him in her heart but she could never understand whether it was just an attraction or love— and also she could never understand that what Abhijeet had in his mind. But she never bothered to name her feelings— Talking to Abhijeet or occasionally meeting him had always been the same.

Whenever she was in trouble, she needed Abhijeet. Whenever there was a puzzlement, inner conflict, Abhijeet's balanced words used to guide her.

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She also remembered the time when she raised her voice for her right for the first time in her house getting strength from Abhijeet's words. She was one of three daughters born in a typical Muslim family— for whom the rules were the same which were the identities of their society. The religion says this, the religion says that... We should live like this, we should live like that. All kinds of restrictions and rules were there— even laughing loudly, was prohibited for the girls.

But at the same time, she did not find any of her brothers abided by any rules— They had all kinds of leeway. The rules were not just for the women, but her mother used to scold daughters for breaking them while her brothers would be forgiven. Why this discrimination? Why the religious customs become ineffective here— she never understood. She was the youngest of the three sisters and was comparatively obstinate and rebellious probably because of this.

The elder sister could get education till the eighth standard and then she got married, while the younger one had the opportunity to study till the tenth grade and after a few years, she was also got married and the parents got rid of their duty.

The same was decided for her.

But it was not acceptable to her— The girls were educated in her family just for the purpose to get a school certificate till eighth or tenth so that they can easily get married but she did not study from this perspective. She had studied to gain knowledge, understanding, to make herself capable, to improve her existence... She had studied because she was interested in studies— even though she had not set any goals yet.

She talked about her resentment with Abhijeet and he had asked if this restriction is also for her brothers? If not, then does Islam allow this inequality?

And she fought at home with this issue, due to which she was allowed to study further, but for the next three months, her father did not even talk to her and she had to complete all formalities from admission to course selection by herself, supported by Abhijeet. She even had to spend money from her side.

The environment of the home got better with the passage of time and her education was accepted but the same ruckus occurred as soon as her intermediate was completed. Neither her father was willing to educate her further nor her mother agreed to support her while she was adamant on pursuing graduation.

On this issue, what else could Abhijeet have done for her other than giving advice? He would have helped her with admissions, etc. but she had to cross this stage on her own.

This time she started starving and her condition became critical in a week, so eventually, she got permission, but with the notification that not even a single penny would be spent on her studies by them. She was not bothered about this. In fact, she had already realised this and started saving money for her studies by taking tuitions for a year. Then with the help of Abhijeet, she enrolled in B. Com.

But this time she became a little unwanted in the house. Her father again stopped talking to her at all and her mother also spoke only when required. The brothers did not use to bother about her anyway.

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However, apart from studies, she used to follow all the rest of the restrictions and used to go to college covering head to toe exactly the way her family wanted.

This time the second year of graduation also passed by half, then her father's mood became normal and he started talking to her again. Her mother also started talking gradually and in the second year, her studies were accepted.

Well, as soon as the studies could be completed, then according to her, a new problem had knocked her life.

She had never noticed it but her maternal cousin probably liked her. She came to know about this when his parents came to her house with a marriage proposal. They were well-off. They had a cloth shop in the market and the boy Qasim used to handle the same business with his father and the rest of the brothers. His outer appearance was also satisfactory.

Her parents happily agreed.

She was a little surprised that how they said yes without asking her even once, but then she asked herself if her sisters were asked their wish while fixing their marriages… Do they take the consent of girls in her society?

Even then, she talked about this with her mother, the answer was that what is wrong in Qasim and now that she has graduated— what else is to be done further? She has to handle the household and the children. If she thinks that she will do a job then she should forget it. For this, not only she will have to break the relationship with them, but also with this society. And why a job has to be done? Why work hard to earn money? Men are there to earn money and Qasim's earnings are enough for your living.

As a common girl, her mother's words sounded right, but the rebellious Surkhab inside her was still in dilemma that is this the meaning of being a woman... Household chores, husband, children?

Then she met Abhijeet and told him her problem.

What does she herself want, Abhijeet asked.

But she could not answer— She was so confused that she was unable to understand what stand should she take.

"How is the boy?" Abhijeet asked looking into her eyes.

"He is okay look wise.”

“Not that way— how is his temperament? Is he rebellious like me, a modern thinking practical person or an orthodox Muslim?”

Now when his question was clear to Surkhab, she stood quite. Abhijeet did not need her words here— The answer was there in Surkhab’s eyes and then he told her a short story.

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There was a boy, a common traditional boy. There was a tree in his house, in which a Surkhab used to sit daily. He liked her very much and used to stare at her till she flew away. One day he thought why should he wait for her every day and stare at her secretly, fearing that she might fly away sensing him. Why should he not catch her and one day he caught her by deception.

He brought her a beautiful cage and locked her in it. He used to arrange food and water for her every day and would try to keep looking at her the same way, but after a few days, he realised that his interest is declining in Surkhab. Actually, he had forgotten that beauty lies is in the freedom, not in captivity... but what else would he have done, it was his nature.

There was no need to say anything further— she had got her answer and she returned.

Now, leaning against the window and looking at the rain and the waving tree outside she was thinking that this heat-stressed tree might have been relieved by the initial gusts of rain and wind, but now it is struggling to preserve its existence. Struggle... which she has to do at every important moment in her life... Struggle, which she will have to do again with her new decision.

She picked up the phone... opened WhatsApp and messaged Abhijeet—

"The boy's choice and will are not known, but the Surkhab did not like being caged. She wanted to fly... She wanted to stretch her wings as usual. She wants to break the cage and fly away but there would be many hungry hawks outside looking for such Surkhabs, what would be her fate?”

He might have been busy that he did not see the message... After half an hour, he replied— “I am there.”

These were not just three words... It was support for her. There was a belief for her that if she takes any decision, he will back her as usual. He will help her in every way possible. He will not let her feel alone under any circumstances.

After reaching a decision, she messaged him again.

Tomorrow Qasim’s family is coming for the engagement at 2 in the afternoon. Just wait for me on the street outside till 3 O'clock. I want to test myself.

She received “done” as the reply and she heaved a sigh of relief.

And the next day, when Qasim's parents came with some other relatives and gifts, etc. she put all the necessary documents in her handbag, took her burqa and came in front of everyone without getting ready and everyone started looking at her dumbfoundedly.

"You are not ready dear” her aunt said sotto voce.

"Because I don't want to get married." She said in a steady tone.

And every one was taken aback— Her father was also there, his face turned completely red. Her mother was bewildered. Both the sisters reacted the same way, but the brothers started looking at her with curiosity, while the faces of all the people of the boy's side were miffed.

"What— why?" Her father roared.

"I just don't want to get married.” She said very firmly without making eye contact with him.

"What is wrong in my Qasim?" Her aunt said in an unpleasant tone.

"Nothing— I am not refusing to get married because there is a defect in Qasim, but there are drawbacks in our society. What is the status of a woman here? Her total existence is all about household chores, husband's service and looking after the children. Life is much more than this aunt.”

"What does this girl want to say?" Her father shouted.

"I never understood why I was named Surkhab, but when I think today, it seems that this name was appropriate for me. Surkhab is meant for flying in the open sky... Her beauty is in her freedom— not in a golden cage. I might get everything where you are willing to send me, but liberty—”

Then she pointed her finger towards her mother.

"I will only get that much freedom. Have you ever noticed how much freedom she has got? She would have lived in her house likewise... She must have got ‘approval’ to study just till the eighth class by her parents. When she came to this house, she followed your instructions at every step. She gave birth to so many children as per your wish. She wears clothes, she eats as per your choice. She moves out of the house with your permission. Even if we want to study, she follows your rules and doesn't support the daughters for their rights. Have you ever noticed that in your presence she cannot even laugh loudly. Would not she have liked to study, to have children, to wear clothes, to have food, to go out in delightful weather, to guffaw as per her choice, to speak to people according to her likes and dislikes, to fight for the rights of her children? Does she have freedom? She just has to act like a puppet, whose string was being pulled by her parents there and by you here. Do you call it independence?”

Her words penetrated her mother deeply... Her anger melted at the moment and she started attempting to stop crying.

"Marriage is the biggest decision in a person's life and see the discrimination even here that since Qasim is a boy, he sent the proposal for me and before accepting it nobody even bothered to ask about my consent... You call it freedom?”

"This is the custom of our family." As if her words had no effect on her father.

"Which I do not accept. I will live with my individuality."

“For this, you will have to break the relationship with all of us forever." This time her father's accent was full of helplessness, irritation and annoyance.

"Blood relations do not break with words dad, you have tried this before as well. Yes, it will probably break up from home... I know this and I am ready for this." Saying this, she extended her steps outwards.

"Stop.” Her mother's voice became brittle.

"On what grounds? You are forgetting mother... your wish is not considered in this house even today." She stopped but said without looking at her.

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Her mother looked at her father with a craven gesture but he turned his face rudely.

She wore burqa and crossed the doorstep. She could understand the feelings of the people behind but did not want to turn about.

After crossing some streets, she came to the main street which was connected with the road outside. Abhijeet was standing there with his bike across the road.

Her speed became faster.

But her burqa was stuck in perhaps a nail of a hand cart beside the wall with a gust of wind and her feet stopped with the tearing sound of it. When she turned, she saw it was stuck in the hand cart... was it stopping her?

But now Surkhab had left the cage behind, she was not about to stop. She put the burqa aside with a huge smile, started walking with full confidence, and reached to Abhijeet, who was looking at her with a charm and praise for her in his eyes.

"What are you looking at?" She asked shyly.

"You did it. I'm a rebel and I like rebellion. For my life, I wanted a rebel girl like this. Now I can tell you what I always wanted to say to you... Will you marry me?"

Surkhab looked at him with surprise.

He was just looking at her, smiling.

(A story from my book Vulture Feast)

Written by Ashfaq Ahmad