Attraction

 

She was sitting huddled on the wedding bed and smelling the rose petals scattered around her that Nadeem came and sat near her and she started palpitating.

She started blushing and dropping her eyes.

For a while, he sat silently looking at her... as if he could not choose the words to speak... Then he lifted her face by putting his fingers under her chin but she could still not dare to lift her eyes.

“Look at me, Adiba.” As if he urged.

And she had raised her eyes and saw that face... which she had seen in her dreams, in her every thought.

Those eyes filled with love seemed to enter deep down into her heart and were chilling down her spine.

And those smiling lips... which were asking...

“Are you happy?”

She was surprised. Did she have the words to express her happiness? Was Nadeem unable to see her happiness in her eyes, on her face?

How should she tell him that she was feeling exactly the same as if a child had got the moon... a person after suffering agonies of thirst in the desert had got water... a dying body had got a life. Were there words to communicate these feelings? Could these feelings be expressed with words?

She remained silent.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as if she was trying to express herself with those two drops and her lips quivered.

Nadeem hugged her and she remained in his arms as if a traveller has found his destination and he wants to be there till his death.

Then there was a knock at the door.

• The story of a young Indian boy who transformed overnight into a wealthy old American

The existence of Nadeem vanished in a puff of smoke. She continued trying unsuccessfully to hold his hand. Her own appearance also changed... That bride's dress, wedding bed, everything disappeared and she realised the reality coming out of the track of thoughts.

Wow! She saw such a beautiful dream in an instant, sitting on a chair.

She touched her moist cheeks... Perhaps everything was a dream but those tears were real... She focused on the voice, jerking her head. Someone was knocking the door outside calling her name.

“Adiba dear.”

She opened the door. There was Mehroon Baji, the maid who had come to call her to eat. She sent her saying that she is coming and then started looking at herself in front of a full-size mirror.

What was special in her... nothing. Simple appearance, height around five feet, dark complexion and normal physique. No extra curve, no attractive figure... A very ordinary girl, like there are millions— or maybe crores.

Then she picked up the mobile and opened the gallery to see Nadeem's photo... Six feet height, athletic physique, fair complexion and very attractive face. He had every quality that any girl likes, he was just the same that any girl could dream of.

She imagined herself paired with Nadeem by keeping mobile in front of the mirror. Absolute mismatch... Who likes to go against the tradition? If the boy is ordinary and the girl is beautiful then it will be easily accepted but nobody can digest it if the girl is very simple and the boy is handsome like a movie hero.

Colour biasedness... It is a harsh reality of society. It may not affect a boy much but who could have known it better than her, who have suffered this inferiority complex since childhood that what a girl of dark complexion goes through. She could not understand her fault until she grew up that why she has to deal with such behavior. How many times does a dusky girl compromise with her wishes... On how many occasions she feels neglected... How often she is interrupted and realized that she does not have a fair complexion— and by growing up she eventually learns to kill her desires. However, she never let this sentiment be revealed and presented herself with full confidence in front of others but this lacking used to make her disturbed in loneliness.

She moved her hand down, filled with deep despair.

But what to do with this heart... when does it follow the rules? You can not help it once a person starts dwelling in your heart. One can not control one's liking or desire.

When Nadeem was looking for a job after completing his studies, he started giving tuition and at the same time, her father had appointed him for home tuition for Adiba.

While taking tuition from Nadeem, when she started liking him and when he entered her heart, she could not realize and after a year now when the tuition was finished after the final exam, she was able to realize that what Nadeem meant for her.

Though Nadeem got a job in the meantime, he continued to teach her in the free time in the evening and he had never shown any interest in her except teaching, so far from expressing her feelings, she could not even muster the courage to look at him carefully.

Now she had heard the unconfirmed news that his marriage was fixed... and this had increased her anxiety.

● The story of David Francis's rise as a mastermind, where he took the second step after a turnaround

He had invited her to his house tomorrow for the first time... and she didn't know the reason. She had asked, but he said that he will tell when she comes.

However, she never expressed her desire in front of him... nor did she ever act in such a way that could express her feelings, but perhaps he had realized it. Love is felt not spoken... Feelings can not be concealed.

He might have called her to put herself right... According to his nature, the possibility, for this reason, was more than any other reason.

She tossed and turned all night. She kept thinking what would he say, how would he say it... and how would she react? What would she feel... She wanted to refuse. She did not want to go as she did not have the courage to accept to be rejected.

But now her exams were over and even if she wanted to study further, Nadeem had no intention of giving tuitions anymore... nor did they have any common acquaintance or relatives so that she could hope to see Nadeem again. Ten days had passed since the last exam, and since then she had not seen him, so what could be said about the future?

The urge to see Nadeem once more was forcing her to go to Nadeem's home and for this, she was ready to tolerate the embarrassing moments in which she had to face her defeat.

The next day at the fixed time she got ready in her usual simplistic style and left for Nadeem's residence.

She was not surprised to see that Nadeem was alone in the house. Apart from parents, he had a brother who lived with his family in Noida. His sister was also married and at this time of the day, there was a possibility of his mother to be present who was not there coincidentally.

Nadeem lovingly made her sit in the drawing-room. He gave her a glass of juice, sat in front of her and started looking at her.

“I have called you because the time has come for me to take the most important decision of my life and I do not want to regret in my life for never saying it.”

She did not say anything, just fixed her eyes inquiringly on him.

He opened a picture on his mobile and put it in front of her. She saw the photo... It was a photo of a very beautiful and fair girl. She felt heavy-hearted.

“This is Aaliya.. She is a doctor, a perfect combination of beauty with brain. She is doing an internship in Allahabad. You are aware that Muslims get a government job very rarely and since the day I have got this job... every day someone keeps reaching Ammi or abbu with a marriage proposal.”

She knew this, understood this but still, she felt strange to hear this from Nadeem as if her self-respect was being hurt. She kept trying unsuccessfully to scrape the floor with her toe and kept listening silently with her eyes down.

“Now her proposal has come and both Ammi and abbu have liked her and this Sunday, they are going to Allahabad to fix the wedding. So far, I did not care until the proposals were coming, but now that this proposal is about to be accepted, then maybe I am not in a position to ignore anymore.”

She had nothing to say.

● The story of the dark side of a glittering frame, which is less known to outsiders

“Look at that photo.” Nadeem said pointing at one direction.

She looked there... Perhaps it was a photo of his Ammi and abbu, whom she had never seen before. Abbu was very ordinary while Ammi was very beautiful.

“You can see abbu is a very average looking who do not possess any extraordinary quality, except that he got a government job in the railway and look at Ammi... how beautiful is she. Is it a perfect match? No... but still they got married and they have been staying like this for the last thirty-eight years.

But how... this is known yo us, their children. I know this. How ammo must have accepted him, only she knows, but in practice, we never saw her respecting our father. He always remained docile, scared and obedient. In the family, he was called henpecked, but neither was he nor was Ammi ashamed of it.

Parents are dear to everyone... at least till one gets married, and that is why I have never been able to resist Ammi's pride and her disrespectful behaviour with abbu, but always considered it wrong in my heart. I do not say that all beautiful girls are bad-tempered, but consider it a bad coincidence that all the beautiful girls I have met so far, were arrogant.

They are attention seekers, often consider others to be unimportant... They do not have that sense of respect for others that should be in everyone as a human being. Since childhood, I have faced this thing and that is why despite my own appearance being so good, I have never allowed myself to become supercilious and everyone should be focused on me.

● The story of the chaos caused by a key and a keyword on Norwegian soil

And then, I saw you... I have never felt that you are a victim of any kind of complex about your appearance, but one can clearly see the same confidence in you, which one should possess. We do not choose our appearance ourselves, we get it by nature, by God. Then why should we have proud or shame on it?

You have the same respect for others, which I never saw in my mother. You have the same decency that a woman should have and I have always seen you bearing your responsibilities in the same way as a strong woman should do. You may not have the outer beauty but you have the inner beauty that attracts and touches the soul.

What I did not see in my family, did not see around me... I have seen it all in you and now that the time has come where I have to take this decision... I can guarantee that you are perfect for me and not Aaliya.”

She looked into Nadeem’s eyes with great surprise and saw them filled with love.

“Will you marry me?”

And the long string of her patience broke. She burst into tears.

Nadeem could not understand what happened to her... He was now looking at her with surprise and she was just crying.

(A story from my book Vulture Feast)

Written by Ashfaq Ahmad